Top Ten Ways The White House Will Change With Lieberman as V.P.

  1. Air Force One to be renamed - "El Al Gore.".
  2. Tipper to be referred to as "The First Shiksa."
  3. Saturday Night State Dinners to be replaced by Sunday Night Chinese.
  4. Inauguration to be completed with Breaking of Glass.
  5. Problem: Presidential Baldness Solution: Presidential Yarmulke!
  6. Every time "Hail to the Chief" is played, Secret Servicemen Lift Gore in Chair and Dance Around.
  7. U.S. Never to pay retail again for Nuclear Warheads.
  8. Federal Employees To Have Saturdays off for Shabbat - but will have to actually start working Monday - Friday.
  9. Camp David relocated to Palm Beach.
  10. In First Major Trade Agreement with India, New Delhi to be renamed Carnegie Delhi.

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