20th Century Extremely Reform Judaism

by David Bader
From How to Be an Extremely Reform Jew

20th Century Milestones in American Extremely Reform Judaism:
1907 First Extremely Reform Jew in Hollywood changes name for show-biz reasons
1915 First E.R.J. in New York joins the Mafia
1974 First E.R.J. in a trailer park tells The National Enquirer that he was abducted by aliens

Extremely Reform Jews ask, "Do I really have to believe in G-d?"
Yes, and for good reason. Without G-d, your donations might not be tax deductible.

Extremely Reform Charitable Organizations:
The Extremely Reform Boy Scouts of America
(No camping required)
The Extremely Reform Anti-Defamation League
(Deals with very mild ethnic slurs)

The Law of Conservation of Jewish Behavior:
This Extremely Reform principle, adapted from Newtonian physics, provides that "for each and every Jewish act, there is an equal and opposite non-Jewish act." Thus, if you do a small kindness for someone less fortunate than you, you are permitted to eat a shrimp cocktail. If you visit a sick person in the hospital, you may spend the Sabbath at a restricted country club.

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