The Four Sons Poem

from Uncle Eli's Special for Kids Most Fun Ever, Under the Table Passover Haggadah

To our seder last year
came a strange-looking man
with four sons:
Nasty, and
Simple, and

Now Smarty was smart--
yes, so clever and wise,
he could do the whole seder
while closing his eyes.
From beginning to end,
from the end to the start,
he recited it
over and over by heart.
In Hebrew and Hindu,
in Snufic and Roman,
from the first Ha Lachma
to the last Afikoman.

But Nasty refused
to take part in the seder.
He just sat there and smiled
with his pet alligator
as he pulled people's hair
and he poked people's eyes
and sprinkled their matzah
with beetles and flies.
What he needs is a thwack
on the back of the hands,
and a slap in the face
and a kick in the pants.

Away in the corner
sits sweet brother Simple.
Whenever he smiles
his face breaks out in dimples.
He only asks
about simple facts
like "What's a matzah?"
and "Tell me how tall is a Gloogasaurus Zax?"

And Sam doesn't even
know what to say.
He just sits in his box
till the end of the day,
till his Dad packs him up
and takes him away.

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