The High-Tech Bar Mitzvah Gift

from Bubbe's Porch

20 June 1999
I just got back from Zachary Paul-Brock's bar mitzvah. I've known him since he was 2 days old. Did I kvell! Such wisdom comes out of his mouth. And poise. Oy, was he poised.

So, his mother tells me he wants RAM for his computer as a gift. I'm thinking I want to get him something that will last a little longer, maybe have a little more personal meaning.

Keeping somewhat with the ram theme, I decide to get him a shofar.

A friend of mine says, "a shofar, what will a 13 year-old do with that? That's not a good gift. Get him a fountain pen, or an id bracelet."

So what do you think happens? I tell him, "I got you the ram you asked for, only it's not made out of silicon chips." Wise yes. But still a little gullible. So, he's looking at this big box I hand him, shaking it, no noise, "what kind of ram could this be?" he asks as his voice cracks on the "be."

But before I can continue my joke, he shreds the wrapping paper, rips open the box, and puts the shofar to his lips. First time, he just blows spit all over the place. Next, he takes a big breath, and lets out a deep, long, resonant shofar blast that probably woke the neighbors or the dead or somebody.

He puts the shofar up to his nose and takes a big whiff and then gags. "Now, I get it. The shofar is made from a ram's horn. That is sooooo cool. I'm gonna hand this to my dad and ask him to install my new ram in my computer"

You can trust Bubbe. She knows from gifts.

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