Bar Mizvah Reception
Herman Greenbaum had suddenly come into a large sum of money when
his small manufacturing company was acquired by a multi-national
conglomerate. This was fortunate, as Herman's son, Izzy, had just
turned 13 and it was time to plan the Bar Mitzvah.
In keeping with his new station in life, Herman calls up the
fanciest catering company on Long Island and asks for their "free
party planning consultation."
The caterer arrives at Herman's palatial new house and beings to
describe a number of possible options. With each suggestion, Herman
shrugs and asks, "But can't you come up with something more
unusual for my little Isadore?"
"Well," asks the caterer, "is there anything in particular that your
son really likes?"
Herman thinks for a minute and then responds, "Well, he likes animals.
We got him a cocky spaniel and he really love to play with the dog."
"Aha," say the caterer. "I think I have just the thing!" And, with
the authority of a craftsman who truly knows his trade, the caterer
describes his proposal:
"On the eve of the Bar Mitzvah, we will rent an entire floor
at the Plaza in New York to accommodate all of the guests. We
will take them to the synagog by limosine and then return to
the Plaza for an elegant seven course formal dinner.
"Following the dinner, when they return to their rooms, they
will each find a bottle of Dom Perignon champagne and fresh
cut flowers in a sourvenir Steuben crystal vase etched with
a likeness of your son and the date of the Bar Mitzvah.
"The next morning, the limosines will line up in front of the
Plaza and, with an official police escort, will take everyone to
JFK airport where we will have chartered two Concordes to fly the
Bar Mitzvah boy and the entire Bar Mitzvah party to Israel.
"There in the old city of Jerusalem, your rabbi will lead the boy
through his Torah and Haftora portions.
"Following the ceremony, the guests will be chauffeured back to
the airport where they will board the waiting Corncordes for a
champagne reception as the planes break the sound barrier in
"The planes will then land in Nairobi where the guests will be
met by an entourage of elephants who will carry them on a safari
throught the great Serengeti preserve while three acclaimed
photographers from the National Geographic snap pictures of your
son and the guests with the exotic wildlife as a cherished momentos
of the occassion."
Herman is duly impressed and agrees that this will be a truly fine
celebration for little Izzy.
Come the night before the Bar Mitzvah, everyone arrives at the Plaza.
The freshly polished limosines are all lined up to take the guests
to the synagog. The dinner is more spectactular than even Herman
imagined. Everyone is delighted with their accommodations. The next
morning, the trip to JFK airport is led by a police escort with small
Israeli flags fluttering from the back of the police motorcycles.
The trip to Israel on the Concordes is perfect. Little Izzy gets to
read his Torah and Haftora portions with barely an error. The guests
enjoy the champagne reception at the speed of sound and are delighted
when they see the elephants lined up at the Nairobi airport.
Off they head into the Serengeti nature preserve while the National
Geographic photographers snap photographs of little Izzy and the
But soon the entourage comes to a complete stop in the middle of the
grasslands. The procession does not move. Ten minutes go by. Then
twenty. Then an hour. The sun is hot and the guests are becoming
restless. Finally, Herman grows concerned enough to instruct the
handler of his elephant to have the elephant kneel down so that Herman
can get off and find out what's happening.
Herman walks up the line of elephants, reassuring the guests. As he
nears the front of the safari, he meets the caterer who is coming in
the opposite direction.
"What's going on??" asks Herman, his voice quivering with dismay.
"Now, now, Mr. Greenbaum," replies the caterer, reassuringly. "You
will just have to be patient. There is another Bar Mitzvah ahead of