Top Twelve Reasons Why Chanukah Is Better Than Christmas

  1. You can't be nailed to the menorah.

  2. More elephants in the Chanukah story.

  3. No roof damage from the reindeer.

  4. Never a silent night when you're amongst your Jewish loved ones.

  5. Dance of the Sugar-Plum Rebbe.

  6. Betting Chanukah gelt on candle races.

  7. Yes, Rivka'le, there is no Santa Claus.

  8. Naked spin-the-dreidel games.

  9. Fun waxy build-up.

  10. No awkward explanations of virgin birth.

  11. Cheer optional.

  12. No Irving Berlin songs.

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