The Creation of Woman
Moses' account of the creation in the book of Genesis is so familiar and
so entrenched in our cultural heritage that many accept as actual
historic fact the assertion that Woman was created from one of Adam's
Science has railed against such simple beliefs for centuries, last week,
at a dig in the escarpments along the western shore of the Dead Sea,
archeologists have uncovered ancient, original texts that pre-date
Moses' writings by 1,300 years. Translated, their account of life's
beginnings on earth are much more scientifically plausible
"... and G-d created Woman, giving her three breasts to succor her
young. And G-d spoke, saying to her, "I have created thee as I see fit,
but mine is no longer the only opinion in the universe (sigh). Is there
anything about thee that thou would prefer differently?"
And Woman spoke, saying, "Lord, I am not made to birth whole litters; I
do not need but two breasts."
And G-d said, "Thou speak wisely, as I have created thee with wisdom."
There was a crack and a lingering odor of ozone, and it was done, and
Woman stood holding her third breast in her hand.
"Now just what am I gonna do with this useless boob?" Woman exclaimed.
And so it was, G-d created Man."