Extremely Reform Synagogue Survival Skills
Survival Tip Number 6: No, You Don't Have to Know Hebrew
(Showing Up For Services Is Sufficiently Amazing.) A question commonly
asked by Extremely Reform Jews is, "Must I pray in Hebrew?" No, and wipe
that look of terror off your face. Fluency in Hebrew, of course, is
vital to the proper understanding of Israeli truck driver insults.
On the other hand, a famous Hungarian Rabbi used to conduct his prayer
services entirely in Hungarian. This does not mean you have to learn
either Hebrew or Hungarian. It simply means that you can pray in any
language you can actually speak. . . .
Basic Extremely Reform Hebrew
"Shabbat Shalom!" --
"Ha Goldfarberim kanu yachta." --
"The Goldfarbs bought a yacht."
"Hi hishmina me'az hashana she'avra." --
"She's gotten heavier since last year."
"Ani hoshez she'ani mikabel hatkafat podagra." --
"I think I'm having a gout attack."