Extremely Reform Synagogue Survival Skills

from How to Be an Extremely Reform Jew by David M. Bader

Survival Tip Number 6: No, You Don't Have to Know Hebrew

(Showing Up For Services Is Sufficiently Amazing.) A question commonly asked by Extremely Reform Jews is, "Must I pray in Hebrew?" No, and wipe that look of terror off your face. Fluency in Hebrew, of course, is vital to the proper understanding of Israeli truck driver insults. On the other hand, a famous Hungarian Rabbi used to conduct his prayer services entirely in Hungarian. This does not mean you have to learn either Hebrew or Hungarian. It simply means that you can pray in any language you can actually speak. . . .

Basic Extremely Reform Hebrew

"Shabbat Shalom!" --
"Good Sabbath!"

"Ha Goldfarberim kanu yachta." --
"The Goldfarbs bought a yacht."

"Hi hishmina me'az hashana she'avra." --
"She's gotten heavier since last year."

"Ani hoshez she'ani mikabel hatkafat podagra." --
"I think I'm having a gout attack."

Back to "Books for Jewish Children"

Back to Lori's Mishmash Jewish Humor Page

Back to Lori's Mishmash Humor Page

[an error occurred while processing this directive]