by Garrison Keillor
(To the tune of "Sleigh Ride")
Just see those Dreidels turning
And candles burning all night
Why it's that Chanukah time
We (Jews) call the Festival of Light.
I'm busy buying Chachkes
And frying Latkes for you (and you and you)
Come on, there's lots of bargains
At Saks Fifth Avenue.
Oy Gevalt, Oy Gevalt, Oy Gevalt, you know,
I'm sick of the snow
I'm dreaming of a warmer place to go.
Gonna shlep, gonna shlep the family
They're comin' with me.
We'll celebrate Chanukah on the beaches of Miami.
With all the colds they're catching
My friends are kvetching, "Oy Vey!"
Let's have our agent book us
And fly our tuchus away.
There's a shabbas dinner at the house of Rabbi Cohen
It'll be the perfect evening in a kosher home
We'll be noshing on foods we love to eat and maybe take a snooze
Then sit on the couch and eat some more and schmuz
Schmuz, schmuz, schmuz.
Then the rabbi says the blessing and we say, "Amen."
It's a ritual that we'll repeat each year again,
And the children will laugh and open gifts and we'll
just watch and kvell
And listen again to the stories that Bubbe and Zeite tell.
And now it's time to finish
This bissel of Yiddish right here
Wishing both Jews and Goyim
A happy and healthy New Year . . . L'chaim!