Hebrew Phraseology???

by Alan Stillson

What would happen if one letter were changed in a loosely transliterated Hebrew phrase? How would it change the meaning?

  1. Slalom aleichem - greetings, all you Jewish skiers.

  2. Am yisrael chat - the nation of Israel is engaged in conversation.

  3. Char gadya - we'll have barbecued goat for Passover dinner.

  4. Maoz tzar - the president of Russia will light candles this Chanukah.

  5. Davis melech yisrael - the new king of Israel is thinking about reestablishing the Jewish state in Oakland, CA.

  6. Bum gali gali - the farmers are now too lazy to work.

  7. Shea yisrael - the Mets are planning their first exhibition game in Israel.

  8. Java nagila - they're dancing the hora at the coffeehouse.

  9. Lo yissa goo - I thank G-d for not being born a blob.

  10. Pa nishtana - the kids are too young to ask the four questions, so Dad has to do it.

  11. Tee chamocha - what golfer is like unto Tiger Woods?

  12. LA tovu - how goodly are the tents of Los Angeles?

  13. Shalom rag - peace to all our congregation members in the garment business.

  14. Key mitzion - the torah has been locked up.

  15. Ham tzfardaya - Pharaoh wished he had a French chef.

  16. Boray prez hagafen - let's toast the chief executive.

  17. Al naharot bagel - we'll see if Babylonian cream cheese and lox is good.

  18. Yerushalayim shed zahav - it's the most expensive storage container in Jerusalem.

  19. Nes gadol Maya sham - there was another great miracle in ancient Central America.

  20. Hamotzi lechem fin haaretz - a blessing for a tuna sandwich.

  21. Chanukah lattes - strong coffee to go with strong potato pancakes.

  22. Car mitzvah - if only the legal driving age were 13.

  23. Chug gadol hayehudim - drink your beer fast while reading the Megillah.

  24. Simchat torch - the Israeli Olympics will start after the high holidays.

  25. Vianachnu … modem - we'll download the words to "Aleinu L'shabeach."

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