by Alan Stillson
What would happen if one letter were changed in a loosely transliterated
Hebrew phrase? How would it change the meaning?
- Slalom aleichem - greetings, all you Jewish skiers.
- Am yisrael chat - the nation of Israel is engaged in conversation.
- Char gadya - we'll have barbecued goat for Passover dinner.
- Maoz tzar - the president of Russia will light candles this Chanukah.
- Davis melech yisrael - the new king of Israel is thinking about
reestablishing the Jewish state in Oakland, CA.
- Bum gali gali - the farmers are now too lazy to work.
- Shea yisrael - the Mets are planning their first exhibition game in
- Java nagila - they're dancing the hora at the coffeehouse.
- Lo yissa goo - I thank G-d for not being born a blob.
- Pa nishtana - the kids are too young to ask the four questions, so Dad
has to do it.
- Tee chamocha - what golfer is like unto Tiger Woods?
- LA tovu - how goodly are the tents of Los Angeles?
- Shalom rag - peace to all our congregation members in the garment
- Key mitzion - the torah has been locked up.
- Ham tzfardaya - Pharaoh wished he had a French chef.
- Boray prez hagafen - let's toast the chief executive.
- Al naharot bagel - we'll see if Babylonian cream cheese and lox is good.
- Yerushalayim shed zahav - it's the most expensive storage container in
- Nes gadol Maya sham - there was another great miracle in ancient Central
- Hamotzi lechem fin haaretz - a blessing for a tuna sandwich.
- Chanukah lattes - strong coffee to go with strong potato pancakes.
- Car mitzvah - if only the legal driving age were 13.
- Chug gadol hayehudim - drink your beer fast while reading the Megillah.
- Simchat torch - the Israeli Olympics will start after the high holidays.
- Vianachnu … modem - we'll download the words to "Aleinu L'shabeach."