Kashrut for the Rebbe
The Satmar Rebbe has died. He goes straight up to Gan Eden.
He finds a large table surrounded by a great number of
long-bearded men studying Gemara, shokeling the whole time
On the table is an enormous smorgasbord of delicacies:
kishke, shlishke, kugel, roast chicken, gefilte fish, and lotsa other
goodies. As the men learn, they take food off the table and eat it.
One man approaches the Rebbe.
"Rebbe, at last you have joined us!
All day, we study and, while we study, we have a great banquet.
Please join us. Would you like something to eat?"
The rabbi looks at the man and asks him, sternly,
"Who's the mashgioch ?"
The man looks at the Rebbe incredulously, and replies, almost with
a laugh, "This is Gan Eden! HaKodoysh Bareech...He is the
The Rebbe strokes his long, white beard for half an hour and
shokels, pondering the matter. All his students look at him eagerly,
waiting to hear what the Rebbe will say.
Finally, the Rebbe speaks.
"I'll have the fruit," he says, "on a paper plate."