Three women are bragging about their Rabbis. The first one says: My
Rabbi is so great that G*d listens to him immediately. Last Shabbes, a
small fire broke out in the ark. My Rabbi lifted his arms heavenwards,
and yelled OYSS FIRE!- out with the fire. The flames immediately went
The second lady bragged that her Rabbi was just as great: Last Shabbes
the sprinklers suddenly opened up during services. Everyone would have
gotten soaked, and the sefer Torah ruined. My Rabbi lifted his arms
heavenwards, and yelled OYSS SPRINKLER!- off with the sprinkler. The
sprinklers mmediately shut off.
The third woman laughed: Your Rabbis are nothing compared to mine. Last
Shabbes, during Kedusha, the driver of an armoured car carrying money
from the bank lost control, and crashed through the wall of our shul.
Thank G*d no one was hurt, but bags of money spilled everywhere. My
Rabbi lifted his arms heavenwards, and yelled OYSS SHABBES and it was