Hanukkah Memo



MEMO:

TO: His Holiness
From: Office of Relations with the Jewish Community

SUBJECT: Channukah

We have received a request from the Jewish Community and the Israeli Embassy that we light a Channukah candle on the first night of Channukah. Sounds like a good idea - we could get CNN to cover. Itís near Christmas and we could find spare candles. What do you think?



MEMO:

FROM: His Holiness
TO: Office of Relations with the Jewish Community

cc: Maintenance and Storage

A great idea. I remember those Jewish potato pancakes that the Children of Abraham used to prepare in Poland when I was a kid. Make sure that thatís part of the deal. What about the candelabra? I know they use a special one - I think we may have one. Ask Maintenance to look in the cellars. If they donít know what youíre talking about - tell them it looks exactly like the one on the Arch of Titus down the street.




MEMO:

TO: His Holiness
From: Maintenance

SUBJECT: Candelabra

We looked in the cellars. We have a big one - very, very dusty - behind a whole pile of incense pans, marked "Gifts from Aeolia Capitolina State visit 70AD". How many lights do you need? There are seven branches to this candelabra. We also found an ancient set of jars of oil with an OU marking in Greek, but one was missing - must have been dropped somewhere.



MEMO:

FROM: His Holiness
TO: Maintenance and Storage

cc: Office of Relations with the Jewish Community

Got your Memo. The one we have wonít do -- we need the newer model with eight candles. I think Chabad dropped one off at the gate last week with the Swiss guards. If not, ask the ADL if we can borrow one. Shut up about what we have in the cellar. Remember to check on the potato pancakes.





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