Congregation Shomrei Emunah
Adult Education Committee
Special Seminar Series on Shadchanus

Shomrei Emunah, baruch Hashem, has reached an important life- cycle. Many ofthe members are becoming involved in the "shidduch parsha" for their sons and daughters of marriageable age (@17.5 +/-10 years). In recognition of the issues that such a situation raises, the shul will be offering a series of seminars for parents of prospective chassanim and kallahs. This seminar will include the following workshops given by noted local community experts:

Do you want to join?

Application Questionnaire into the Eligibility into the "Shidduch Parsha"

Introduction: Not everyone is zocheh to enter to enter into the "shidduch parsha". It is a madrega that must be earned. While anyone can "go out" or date, you must qualify to be part of our exclusive network of shidduch parsha players (a.k.a., The Club). Based on your responses to the following questionnaire, we will determine whether you qualify or not. If you should qualify, you must agree to our code of conduct and play the game by OUR RULES. At that point, we will periodically re-evaluate whether you and your parents are playing by THE RULES. If not, we can revoke your membership. Then you and your parents will be "on your own". This means that you could end up making your own shidduch decision, using your own common sense (rachmana litzlan), rather than with the hadracha of shadchanim affiliated with THE CLUB.

Please respond to the following in an honest way (we have ways of finding out whether you are telling the truth):

  1. Which best describes the way your mother covers her hair ?(circle one):
    a. hat on topof shaitel on top of bald shaved head
    b. hat on top of shaitel on top of hair
    c. just a shaitel
    d. bullet-proof tichel
    e. snood
    f. hat with snoodette
    g. hat or beret
    h. au naturale

  2. Which best describes the way your way Rabbi covers his head: a. streimel or spuddik
    b. hat on top of yarmulka
    c. just a shaitel and a yarmulka

  3. Does your father wear a hat? (if yes, what color is it and how much did he pay for it?)
    _______Yes _________No
    Color_________ Cost_________

  4. Please indicate the material and size of your father's yarmulka (measure to nearest inch of diameter)
    Material____________ Size___________

  5. Which best describes where your family usually takes vacations to?
    a. Boro Park
    b. Lakewood
    c. Monsey
    d. Eretz Yisrael
    e. down d'Ocean, the Bahamas, or any other makom pritzus

  6. Prior to going out, have you ever held a "civilized conversation" with a member of the opposite sex who was your age (note: "civilized conversation" means more than 3.5 seconds).
    ____________Yes _____________No

  7. Which establishment typifies where your family does most of its shopping?
    a. Seven Mile Market
    b. Mirakle Market
    c. Food King
    d. Edmart

  8. What sorts of bumper stickers does your family put on their car?
    a. Moshiach-related topics
    b. lashon harah-related topics
    c. Shabbos-related topics
    d. Israeli-political topics
    e. Eat Bertha's Mussels

  9. Which best describes your family's approach to Yoshon?
    a. We don't eat it year round
    b. We are not Makpid year-round
    c. We don't eat it until after Pesach
    d. We prefer not to eat stale stuff, thank you
    e. What's "Yoshon"?

  10. Which of the following best describes the hashgachas your family accepts?
    a. Star-K 99% of the time; however, we will drink tap water
    b. Star-K exclusively; we even take showers with Star-K bottled water
    c. OU exclusively
    d. only the questionable ones
    e. We just look at the ingredients to make sure there is nothing objectionable

  11. Does your father have a real job (real job is defined as anything other than chinuch, kollel, or affiliated parnasah)?
    _________Yes __________No
  12. Does your mother have a real job?
    _________Yes __________No
    (if either of the above two questions is a "yes", please enclose copies of W-2's and tax returns)

  13. Have either of your parent's participated in NCSY? (If yes, please stop and put this application in shaimos)
    _________Yes ___________No

  14. Have either of your parent's taken courses in a secular college? (If yes, please stop and put this application in shaimos)
    __________Yes _____________No

  15. Have either of your parents attended Yeshiva University or Stern College? (If yes, Please stop and put this application in shaimos)
    ___________Yes ______________No

  16. How do your parents refer to each other when communicating?
    a. "honey" or "dear"
    b. as "Mr. Ploni" or "Mrs. Ploni"
    c. in third person (e.g., "Would my husband like his chulent now?" or "Can the Rebbitzen bring me my chulent now?")
    d. pas nisht for either of my parents to talk to anyone of the opposite sex

  17. Does your family's kitchen have one or two sinks? ovens?
    __________# of sinks ____________# of ovens

  18. Please respond in two sentences or morehow you would respond to the following situations and dilemmas:
    • Shmerill comes to the door to pick you up for a date. Your father answers the door wearing a t-shirt and shorts. Your Bais Yaakov teacher once said that there are times when it is O.K. to lie. You consider telling Shmerill that your father is merely the guy who mows the lawn. What would you do?

    • A boy calls you for the first time. You were expecting someone with a good frum name; however he uses an English name to identify himself. What would you do?

    • On a date, the boy admits that he once had aspirations of earning a legitimate college degree. What would you do?

    • On a date, the boy shows up without a hat. However, he apologizes and says that your dog pooped on it after it fell off onto the sidewalk. He shows you the hat. What would you do?

    • On a date, Velvel states that he only wants to be supported to learn in Kollel for 5 years. After that, he only wants to be supported. What would you do?

    • You go out with a boy twice and really like him. After that, the shadchan calls and proposes to you on his behalf. What would you do?

    • On a third date, the boy reveals that he has found out from the shadchan that your grandfather never completed Shas and he wants to break it off. What would you do?

    • You are set up with a Chassidic bochur who only dresses in long coats and knickers. On the first date, you feel his payos are not long enough. What would you do?

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