Judaism - Traditional Vs. Reform


by David Bader
from How to Be an Extremely Reform Jew


Traditional: Farm animal must be killed by ritual slaughterer using a
	sharply honed knife that must not have a single nick on its blade.
Reform:  Farm animal must be told that it has the right to an attorney.


Trad'l: Will not combine meat with milk.
Reform:  Will not combine meat with chocolate milk.


Trad'l:  One set of dishes for meat, another set for dairy.
Reform:  One set of dishes exclusively for cheeseburgers.


Trad'l:  Try to concentrate on prayers, achieve sense of being in the
	presence of the divine.
Reform:  Try to figure out when to stand up, when to sit down, and what page
	everyone is on.


Trad'l:  Women required to sit in synagogue balcony, apart from men.
Reform:  Women and men sit together, dancing suggestively.


Trad'l:  Strong disapproval of women rabbis.
Reform:  Strong disapproval of topless women rabbis.


Jewish Year: Current year plus 3760.
Jewish Dog Year:  Current year plus 3760, multiplied by 7.







Back to Lori's Humor Page



[an error occurred while processing this directive]
Make your own free website on Tripod.com