Judaism - Traditional Vs. Reform

by David Bader
from How to Be an Extremely Reform Jew

Traditional: Farm animal must be killed by ritual slaughterer using a
	sharply honed knife that must not have a single nick on its blade.
Reform:  Farm animal must be told that it has the right to an attorney.

Trad'l: Will not combine meat with milk.
Reform:  Will not combine meat with chocolate milk.

Trad'l:  One set of dishes for meat, another set for dairy.
Reform:  One set of dishes exclusively for cheeseburgers.

Trad'l:  Try to concentrate on prayers, achieve sense of being in the
	presence of the divine.
Reform:  Try to figure out when to stand up, when to sit down, and what page
	everyone is on.

Trad'l:  Women required to sit in synagogue balcony, apart from men.
Reform:  Women and men sit together, dancing suggestively.

Trad'l:  Strong disapproval of women rabbis.
Reform:  Strong disapproval of topless women rabbis.

Jewish Year: Current year plus 3760.
Jewish Dog Year:  Current year plus 3760, multiplied by 7.

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